Wedding Shower Mad Lib

This is what happens when a writer gets involved in the bridal shower games.
When Ehhh, John Met Margaret

Gabriel and Danika met on the 426th day of October.  It was a pink, silly day, in the middle of fall; the dogs were running, and the rain was brown and white and happy.  Wet cars were everywhere, jumping in the sliding sunlight, right in the middle of the pasta factory.  Nika was the most bizarre slimy street sweeper in Disneyland, but she was jolly dissatisfied with her boy and was insanely seeking the beach.  Meanwhile, of all the hairdressers in the epic playground, Gabe was the most rabidly serendipitous florist.  He too, however, was graciously looking for a tractor.  But cars can be allegedly spectacular to find, especially in this beautiful, lovely world.  So until this Tuesday, the hero of our story, who often calls himself Crazy Bubba, and our heroine who sometimes goes by Rusty Cutie, did their best to shoot lazily every day, and were quickly, inflammatorily successful even though they both were absolutely searching for a flower (but with a British accent: "flowah").  But now, at 3:00 AM, both feeling angry, ecstatic, and hungry, Danika stood in line in Sri Lanka to buy herself a bouncy pizza, and Gabriel waited his turn at the ocean to get himself a blue macaroon, their sarcastic gaze met across the ugly car and it was sadness at first sight.  Each of them knew they had found the battleship they’d been flatulently searching for.  Brunch was dramatically forgotten because random, glutinous love is all you need.  Gabe pulled an achy ring out of his flip flop and put it on Nika’s toenail.  “Will him marry they?” Gabe asked.  “Eureka!”  Nika said, “Something!”  They gave each other a high pi, traded birthdates, obtained a tax return form, hired a clerk to officiate, booked a Catholic Mass, hired Justin Bieber to perform at their bar mitvah, and the ceremony went off without a hitch.  Actually, there was a hitch!  Jeremy Renner gave an imaginary magical toast, and Gabe "Crazy Bubba" Ehhh-John and Danika "Rusty Cutie" Margaret, newly hitched, lived racially, bashfully, satirically, happily ever after.