"Let's get a pet from the shelter," I said.
Three months later these items have become dog gnaw:
The leash that was on her when we brought her home from the shelter
Pixie's shoe string
The couch
A deceased bird
One gallon jug of tea
Two cans of tomato sauce
Wild animal tib-fib brought home from her runaway escapade
Her collar
The other dogs' collars
Another dog's harness
All things cardboard
The door mat
A floor rug
Hunneypunkin's leg
The pond heater out of the pond
My goat (Don't worry, she gave as good as she got.)
All her dog toys
All the other dogs' toys
All the other dogs
My pants (Yes, while I was wearing them.)
Two ice cream buckets
The entertainment center
Every extension cord in the county
Most cats (all survived)
My left slipper
The entire stack of firewood
Dirt
Thirty-seven miles of baling twine
One dog food bag
One cat food bag
One potting soil bag
A garden spade
The bill for her getting spayed
The check to pay for her getting spayed
Her dog bed
The other dogs' beds
A queen size bedsheet
The neighboring herd of cattle
Me
Heaven knows what else she's destroyed that I haven't discovered yet. To date she hasn't gotten her teeth on my life-size Jeremy Renner cardboard cutout. Lucky dog.
No comments:
Post a Comment