Public Shepherd

Lefty is the coolest Public Safety Officer you could ever hope to see, but he's not really feeling it.
Working Campus Security sounds impressive, but apparently the routine escorting of homeless individuals out of the college dumpsters becomes monotonous night after night.  So does the frequent verbal abuse from said offenders, some of whom hang around to spew insults at his handsome face while he calls city police to remove the more persistent transgressors.
The decrease in vehicular break-ins and derelicts sneaking into dorms for showers and whatnot since he joined the force doesn't lift his spirits much.  Nor do his successful foilage of several drug dealers' and at least one prostitute's attempts to defile school grounds in the dark.
Part of his job involves locking and unlocking specific doors, taking criticism for doors being unlocked when one person thinks they should be locked at this specific hour, and being reprimanded for those same doors being locked when someone else dictates they should be unlocked during that same time.  Another aspect of his job description seems to be peoplesitting during youth events.  This is not his favorite thing.
"I'm dot so buch Public Safety as I ab Public Shepherd," poor Lefty told me today on the phone.  "There's doe respect.  Frob adyode.  Add dow I have a cold and I have to work todight and I dod't wadt to."
"Call in sick," I said.
But he won't.  He'll put on the uniform, arm himself with his flashlight and cellphone, carry the keys, and tour the premises through the wee hours.  And if I find out anybody gives him crap tonight, this Mama's gon' go down there.  I'll Jeremy Renner up the place.