Catching More Comments Than Dreams

My full blood Native American friend who calls herself an American Indian gave me a dream catcher as a gift.
My millennial friend scolded me for referring to my Native American friend as an American Indian.
My caucasian friend who identifies as a Chippewa condemned my dream catcher as a fake.
My liberal friend disowned me as a racist because I had the audacity to display a piece of art not belonging to my culture.
My conservative friend said my dream catcher was cute.
My superstitious friend suggested I remove the dream catcher from my home because it could invite evil spirits.
My pagan friend lectured me on the history of dream catchers and their difference from mandalas.
My Catholic friend saw the dream catcher and crossed herself.
My non-Jewish friend who identifies as a Jew also identified the dream catcher as an idol and claimed I must destroy it.
My Jewish friend says that if I'm not worshiping it, the dream catcher is neither an idol nor a statue or graven image, so I can keep it.
My Jewish friend who identifies as a non-Jew displays in her home a dream catcher with the Star of David in the middle of it.
My African American friend who calls herself "black" and does not originate from Africa admired the variance of eras and ethnicity she found represented in my life.
My white friend who identifies as African American shushed me when I referred to my African American friend who does not originate from Africa as "black".
My prepper friend built me a bomb shelter and stocked it with three decades' worth of food and water and didn't notice that my family room was sporting a dream catcher.
My church friend came over to assist me with a service project and we were too involved with our work to concern ourselves with the dream catcher.
My BFF brought me a caramel mocha and commented on my dream catcher, and we visited for hours about the wonder of cultural diversity in America.
Jeremy Renner doesn't really give a monkey's butt.  He just keeps cranking out movies.
My cat climbed the wall, assaulted the dream catcher, and ate the feathers off.
I repaired my dream catcher, hung it where the cat can't get to it, and smiled about all my friends.