The Precious Thinks He's Chris Pratt

Sometimes I can't find The Precious.  That's because he's in a corner somewhere with his phone, watching Chris Pratt.
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The Precious walks into the room, tears his shirt off for no reason, throws it at my life-size Jeremy Renner cardboard cutout, and says, "When I get bummed out I take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty!"
Pixie thinks The Precious is annoying.  If you're familiar with Christ Pratt, it all makes sense.

Little Known Fact

I try to keep this on the down low because I wanna be tough and cool, but secretly, I like pretty things.  You can't really tell by looking, since I live a fairly practical life, but yes, deep down inside me where nobody even knows, I really really like pretty things.
Glitter
Purple
Flowers
Sparkly automotive paint
Hummingbirds
Polished wood
Blown glass
Gold
My behbehs (you know my children are beautiful)
Fluffy kitties
Shiny rocks
Waterfalls
Nail polish
Tulle
Jeremy Renner
Ironically I live in the dustiest hole in the universe, but I'm still always looking for pretty things.

Pixie Litigation

Mark Sinclair Vincent St. Agnes von Lichtenschtein follows Pixie around like he's a lonely puppy or a creepy stalker.  She goes into her bedroom and he scratches at her door to be let in.  She cooks herself breakfast and he stares at her from the kitchen floor.  She goes outside and he paces on the windowsills spying on her.  She folds her clean laundry and he takes instant naps on it.  She goes to bed and he curls up on her face.  She can't even shower alone.
"I like cats because they're not needy," Pixie's Sister From Another Mister says.
"Except mine," Pixie says.  "What is WRONG with him?"
Pixie was banned from leaving the house long before 'rona put us all under house arrest, because I'd had enough of her cat taking out his abandonment fury on my life-size Jeremy Renner cardboard cutout.
Today she sat down on the couch with her laptop, and within three seconds, the cat had materialized on the arm of the couch to peer into Pixie's soul.
Pixie rolled her eyes and groaned, "Do you think I could get a restraining order?"

Kyle and the Scorpion

There's a war on.
Pixie and Angel Doll look all ladylike and innocenty on the outside, but they've been locked in epic combat for two years now.  Kyle the rubber snake was a Christmas gift to Angel Doll from a Geronibro, one of her Nerdmigos.  The brown plastic scorpion has no name.  It also has no known origin.  It just exists.
Pixie and Angel Doll take every opportunity possible to hide Kyle and the scorpion in each other's belongings to the point that neither of them is even startled anymore.  They just keep doing it because, why quit?
It wasn't enough to simply leave the snake or the scorpion in each other's cars, sock drawers, socks, hairdos, pillowcases, bedsheets, clean laundry, dirty laundry, lunchboxes, sandwiches, birthday presents, or coffee.  (I may or may not have been involved in the washing of the scorpion with the dishes so he could safely lurk in the bottom of a mug.)  Angel Doll rigged the scorpion in Pixie's dresser to crawl up a piece of yarn when the drawer was opened.
Mama's so proud.
Currently, Kyle lives in a dorm with Angel Doll.  Don't tell anybody though because neither boys nor pets are allowed in the ladies' dormitory, and we don't want Angel Doll to get into trouble.  The scorpion's whereabouts are presently as unknown as its origin.  It could turn up in Jeremy Renner's possession for all we know.