Untitled Post

Lefty recommended that I write another blog post, and we all know that I do as I'm told.
Unfortunately I'm so boring, there's nothing to write about.  My fans know this.  Both of you.  Even my critics know it.  All three of them.
I logged into Blogger and noticed I had a blank draft with no title so I decided to start there.  I can't wait to see what my biggest critic, the neighborhood gossip, Lou Scannon, has to say about this pointless post.  He doesn't actually read my blog, but my good friend (or whatever) Dromiquine tells him all about it and together they cook it into a scandal.  And since bad publicity is still publicity, I will probably have to thank them when my meaningless pecks at the keyboard accidentally win me some weird type of award.
Why any of you keep reading this crap is beyond my comprehension.  Jeremy Renner would have moved on to something more interesting a long time ago.

The Dying Art of Proper English

It's not easy being a closet grammar nazi.  A poster at our local high school says, "Purposeful, Respectful, Intelligent, Determined, Excellence."  The first four words are adjectives and the last one is a noun.  I deeply feel that all five words should be the same part of speech.  If all five words were nouns, the sign would read, "Purpose, Respect, Intelligence, Determination, Excellence".  If all were adjectives it would say, "Purposeful, Respectful, Intelligent, Determined, Excellent".  Unless, of course, the first four words are describing the excellence, in which case everything I just said is moot.  Then again, Random Unlimited IS moot.  I can't believe someone of your intelligence is even wasting time reading it.
Watching TV sets me nazi-ing terribly.  Maybe America's Got Talent, but it doesn't gots grammar.  If America DID have grammar, the TV show would be called "America Has Talent".  I can't make it through a half-hour sitcom without hearing "who" where "whom" should be used.
Current music kills me.  Curses serve as all parts of speech, lyrics are pointless, and the rhymes, don't.
Am I the only one who knows these things?  Are there any others left who know how to diagram a sentence?  Does anyone even know what a syllable is anymore?  (That's the number of vowel sounds in a word.  For instance, "Jeremy" has three syllables, "Lee" has one syllable, and "Renner" has two syllables.)  ("I" is generally a one-syllable word, but Dromiquine--you know her--manages to make it a multiple because it's her favorite subject.)  (Palindromes are words that spell the same thing backward as they do forward, such as "mom", "dad", "Bob", "Do geese see God", or "Renner".)  (Palindromes don't really fit into this paragraph.)  (It's unprofessional to use several sets of parentheses in succession.)
If no one knows the rules of the English language, there's no longer any comedic value in my intentional misuse of it, in which case my life is over.