Not a Real Thing

You wanna know what bugs me?  Why, thank you for asking.  You KNOW I hate artificialness.  http://chevroletmama.blogspot.com/2012/10/real-thing.html  So you'll understand how phrases such as "too much cheese" send me into a paroxysm.
Too much cheese is not a real thing.  There's never enough cheese.  Cheese cures what ails ya.  The king of all foods is cheese.  If you can't eat all your cheese, gimme.  I'll do it.
Guy and girl best friends is not a real thing.  No matter what either of you say, if you're over age twelve and your best friend is an opposite, we all know where your heart went whether your mind meant to or not.
Sharing-size candy packages are not a real thing.  I'm going to eat it all.  You can't have any.  There will be no sharing.  Pixie will back me up on this; she knows.  Buy your own.
Giving a hundred and ten percent is not a real thing.  I'm going to puke on the next person I hear say that.  Mathematics, people.  You only have one hundred percent.  If you're giving one hundred and ten, you just stole from somebody else and now they only have ninety.  (Remember that I said this, so that next time I tell you I gave a hundred and ten percent, you can call me out, because I say it all the time.)
The Precious recently coerced me into watching the movie Divergent.  I'm looking forward to seeing the sequel, Insurgent.  The Precious says they're making a third show, which I'm convinced will be titled "Detergent".  But The Precious tells me that's not a real thing.  Lefty, however, says if it were, he wouldn't mind having his pants washed in that film.
No, Jeremy Renner was not in Divergent.