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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Lefty Gets Offered a Job

Lefty recently stumbled upon an employment opportunity, so I helped him write up a resume'.

Lefty Righthanded, NBK, CBC, ABI, TTYL, IDK
1 Street Address
City, State, ZIP
555-555-5-007
fakeemail@fakeemail.fakeemail

Objective
To make more money than anyone else.  Ever.
Education and Qualifications
Maybe a little
Work History
Birth to present
          Slave labor for father
July 2014-August 2014
          Farm labor for Neighbor Farms
May 2014
          Advertising Department Manager for Vegan Canivores, Inc.
January 2010-April 2014
          Nordic longboat operator
December 2008-December 2009
          Understudy for Jeremy Renner
October 2006-November 2008
           Interplanetary espionage for Covert Organization Intergalactic
February 2005-October 2006
          Independent mercenary
November 2001-January 2003
          Committee to Pick a Different Name for the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia
Activities and Interests
Drawing
Weight training
NBK (Ninja by Knight)
Salsa dancing, with real salsa

1 comment:

  1. Lefty wears a nifty apron at his new job. Bestie said, "I hear you look good in an apron." Lefty replied, "I hear I look good, period."
    No lack of self-esteem there.

    ReplyDelete