My Life Be All, "Blog This!"

The day after payday I was thinking, "Should I pay bills, or buy groceries?"  And you know that's a question you should never ask on an empty stomach.
So an hour after returning from spending a brizillion dollars on enough edibles and bath tissue to last the household till three days from next week's payday, Hunneypunkin discovered some really neat little lakes and rivers under the house.  Cracks in pipes.  Major drippage.  It seems we have some subhomenal water features going on.  The kind that's going to cost us a lot of the money that we like to pretend we're going to make in the future.  (Subhomenal=under the house.  Get it?  I just made that word up.)
To be honest, if I'm going to spend a buttload of money on watery things, I'd love for it to be a fountain and a pond in the backyard.  With fish and frogs and lily pads in it.  But I like warm showers and indoor running water too.  So.
A fascinating side effect of the plumbing excitement is that the solution is going to involve considerable demolition to at least two rooms.  It IS time to repaint, mind you, but I was kinda saving those projects for a time when I could budget for them.
So here's my evil plan.  Mama's gonna put my Jeremy Renner pants on and get myself a job--or maybe nine of them--cuz Hunneypunkin seems to only be able to put in ninety-seven hours a week of slave labor before he revolts.
Now I'm beginning to smell that I've burned dinner while I've been blogging, and even worse than allllll of this, I'm all out of the Twixes and Reese's I got for Mother's Day and my birthday.  My life does NOT love me right now.