Dairy Diet Diary

The Precious put itself on a dairy diet.
Then he texted me: "I ruined it.  I had one piece of popcorn with butter on it."
I assured him his dairy diet wasn't ruined, and after eighteen straight hours of intense therapy he decided he could carry on.
Two days later The Precious said, "I've ruined my dairy diet!  I've been having creamer in my coffee every day!"
I said, "Hello!  The word 'cream' in the word 'creamer' didn't clue you in?"
The Precious said, "I just never thought about it!"
"Wait," I said, "What kind of creamer?  This stuff?  This is non-dairy creamer, even though the phrase is an oxymoron."
"But I read the ingredients," said The Precious.
''Are you sure?"  I said, "Because the can says in bright red letter, 'dairy free, lactose free'."
"There's an ingredient that says it's a milk derivative," said The Precious.
I read the ingredients.  He was right.  "But it still says 'dairy free, lactose free'," I said.
After ninety minutes of discussion and a sort-of night's sleep, The Precious decided he would carry on.
Then there was a birthday in the house.  Years ago our family traded traditional birthday parties--sending invitations, advance housecleaning, entertaining guests--for a simple day of unloading all the love on the birthday person.  The birthday person gets to choose the breakfast, lunch, and dinner menu for the day, we relax and hang out, and anyone who chances upon us that day gets some birthday cake.  Angel Doll chose a birthday menu loaded with dairy products, so The Precious had to choose.  Partake, or pass?  Jeremy Renner himself couldn't say no to our milk-and-butter chocolate cake.  http://www.hersheys.com/pure-recipes/details.aspx?id=184&name=HERSHEY%27S
The dairy diet will re-commence at a later date.