Rapunzel's Revenge

When I was growing up, my mother, Rapunzel, wasn't cool.  She remained unemployed, grew a garden, canned our food, cooked all the meals, sewed for our home, read us stories, made do what we had, and homeschooled my brothers and me.  That's not how things were done back in the late nineteen hundreds.
Rapunzel didn't talk much about the how the gen pop assigned her a lower-class status because of her way of life, but she wasn't stupid.  She knew.
I was a little luckier, what with homesteading currently being in vogue.  I live the lifestyle she did (except for my complete lack of Rapunzel's mad sewing skills) but it's trendy at this moment.
Now amidst businesses shutting down, schools being closed, and people getting quarantined during our fashionable new dreaded illness, Jeremy Renner is cushioned by fame and wealth but much of the public is scrambling to figure out how to live the way Rapunzel did all along.
Rapunzel's a pretty nice lady, and I try to be nice but it doesn't always work.  I must admit, there's a part of me hoping that everyone who ever looked down on her runs out of toilet paper.

Second Winter

Pixie said Second Winter was coming but it was all the degrees outside and the sun was so shiny that I planted things and pulled the tank heaters out of the fishy pond and the livestock water troughs.
Second Winter showed up just as Pixie said it would, and I've spent the weekend breaking ice for the animals and holding funerals for garden starts and freezing off my nose, toes, and tuckus.
Jeremy Renner would have been smarter than this.
When you raise your child to be intelligent, you should listen to it when it advises you.

Fight Me

I've already either survived or escaped chicken pox, measles, mumps, rubella, whooping cough, scarlet fever, lice, mice, dog bites, tick bites, Lyme disease, Hanta virus, global cooling, global warming, global climate change, HIV, AIDS, the evils of rock and roll music, West Nile virus, the Hale-Bopp comet, domestic violence, substance abuse, Y2k, mad cow disease, SARS, bird flu, swine flu, MERS, viral pneumonia, chronic infection, ISIS, gaslighting, backstabbing, anxiety, depression, autoimmune disorder, Democratic presidencies, Republican administrations, World War Z, less successful Jeremy Renner movies, adrenal failure, personal failure, personal attacks, and the end of the Mayan calendar.
I made it through Zika too, but I was so busy being alive that I never even heard of it when it was an alleged threat.
I didn't run to the store last week to stock up because I already keep a respectable supply of bath tissue, we routinely use soap, I come from a long line of survivors, and Hunneypunkin knows how to do things.
Didn't your mother teach you to wash your hands?  Mine did.  (Thanks, Mom.)
Coronavirus can fight me.

How Autocorrect Altered an Identity

I don't understand it.  Autocorrect doesn't seem to care about Hunneypunkin's name.  Or The Precious's.  Lefty, Angel Doll, Treasure, Angel Boy, The Prince, Jeremy Renner and me, Chevrolet Mama, we're all Autcorrect approved.
Pixie's name is apparently not common or recognizable, and Autocorrect keeps amending it.  Phone contacts, text messages, social media posts, Autocorrect keeps replacing her name everywhere.  The weirdest part is, it's not even close.  Her name doesn't even get changed to a girl's name.  We've been fighting this for years, and now we're giving up.  You can't win against Autocorrect.
So we're waiting our turn at the courthouse, and in obedience to Autocorrect, changing Pixie's name to Nebuchadnezzar.