I couldn't resist Facebook's offer to show me my personal Amazon review. Yes, I know that every time you click one of those quizzes, all my friends' savings account balances are transferred to Kim Jong Un, but everyone knows I'm a terrible friend so if they follow me on social media they ought to expect it. Besides, we all know what Zoltan Kaszas has to say about K.J.U. Anyway, I only have three friends, and none of us have any savings.
Back to my Amazon review: I got one star, which is way more than I expected.
"I think mine is faulty." I figured whoever bought me would know that, going in.
"I've heard that owning a Chevrolet Mama would be a dream." Heh heh! If something sounds too good to be true, people, it usually is. (Meanwhile, "You Don't Own Me" pops up on the radio.)
"More like a nightmare!" Excellent! That's what I was going for.
"It's sarcastic, wild, and eats all my food..." Yes. Yes I am, and yes I do.
Come now, if you wanted a five-star purchase, you should have ordered yourself a nice Jeremy Renner.
