Middle Earth Meets Narnia

Galadriel is bored by herself, so I sent the following text message to a friend.
"We were wondering if you have a billy that might be interested in hooking up with our she-goat."
I almost collapsed when my friend replied that Tumnus would love to have a conjugal visit.  Tumnus?  His name was Tumnus!  That was funnier than Jeremy Renner!
So our friends are fencing off a private suite in their goat pen so the other wives won't fight with G.  Meanwhile Lefty and Hunneypunkin are building side racks that will convert our lawnmower trailer into a livestock hauler.  Now if both parties agree to the arrangement, then sometime in May or June we'll get to find out what kind of kids result when a powerful elf-witch from Middle Earth marries a kindly faun from Narnia.

My Family Portrait For Our 2014 Christmas Card

Not enough space to fit my life-size Jeremy Renner cardboard cutout in the portrait.  Maybe next year.

This Post Has No Title, The Print is Too Small

I broke my glasses, right in the middle.  My life-size Jeremy Renner cardboard cutout is just a giant blur.  Hunneypunkin promised to fix my glasses by with some nice electrical tape to make me look even cooler than I already do.  Hunneypunkin is also just a giant blur.  So without my glasses Hunneypunkin and Jeremy Renner are identical.  Just like they are in real life.  Which is what makes Jeremy Renner a hot guy.  I hope I'm hitting all the right keys because my computer screen is just a giant blur.  I have one last pair of contacts but they feel like sandpaper and after wearing them several hours the world is just a giant blur.  If you've seen me in public and thought I snubbed you please forgive me.  I probably just mistook you for a giant blur.