Giraffes and Gravy

Their initial is about the only thing that giraffes have in common with gravy, especially considering giraffes have the same number of vertebrae in their necks as humans (just way bigger), whereas gravy, if it's a good gravy, is actually boneless.
When Pixie was extra-miniature, giraffes were her favorite animal at Woodland Park Zoo.  I wanted to check out the big cats, but Pixie would plead for the "'waffes".  We bought her a finger-puppet 'waffe from the zoo's gift shop so she'd quit begging for a live one.  For all her love of 'waffes, Pixie didn't really give a monkey's butt about gravy.
I hear it's a well-known statistic that Jeremy Renner is ninety-two percent more likely to have any use for gravy than for giraffes, and I would recommend checking the origin before obtaining either one.  If the label says "made in China", you're not getting a giraffe from it's native origin, and you'll have no idea how fresh your gravy really is.
Proper storage is of utmost importance, as gravy should be refrigerated until ready to eat but chilling would be harmful to a giraffe.
Giraffes are notably spotted, while one may be concerned if one finds spots in one's gravy, depending on what kind of gravy.  Unnecessary lumps are distasteful in both giraffes and gravy.  Due to the Turkey Frosting incident at Grandma's house years ago, my family understands the importance of clearly labeling such kitchen staples as cornstarch and powdered sugar.  Powdered sugar puts lumps in the gravy but, we now know, doesn't cause it to thicken.  However, none of us have yet tested the effects of powdered sugar on a giraffe.
I would like to conclude by stating that whilst I am most definitely a carnivore, and I do like gravy on my meat, I have never to my knowledge eaten giraffe, with or without gravy.