Gunner Has Two Mommies

The wiggly little puppies were so precious that it seemed righteous to take two of them.  They would keep each other company and perhaps be less likely to find trouble.  Right?  So then they got big real soon.
They were both female, so we planned to have them spayed at an appropriate time.  That would have worked out well, but the hippo from a nearby homestead beat us to the punch.  I almost swallowed my tonsils when I strolled out to feed the dogs one day and came face to face with a giant stuffie hanging out with our dogs for a smoke.
Oh, well, I told Hunneypunkin, it's the first litter for both of them, so they won't have very many babies.  A couple months later we found out I was right, of course.  I mean, they could have each had ten or twelve pups.  Instead they each had eight.  On the same day.  At the same time.
A couple of them were stillborn which was simultaneously sad and relieving.  They were all indescribably adorable.  So then they got big real soon.  We were able to give a few away, but ten of them we had to pay to have the humane society take.  That was trauma.  But the only other option was to sell our own children to feed the dogs.  That's illegal, plus I'm pretty attached to our own children.
The vet had advised us to take the mommadoggies on a short car trip as soon as the puppies were weaned.  Homestead Hippo, however, was again too quick for us.  I was seriously cheesed about being outsmarted by a neighbor dog.  Twice.
This time we were blessed with seventeen puppies.  On the same day.  At the same time.  But that wasn't even the best part.  The very most exciting part was that Hunneypunkin chose a puppy.  I might have freaked out just a little bit over that at first, but doggone it it's too stinkin hard to turn down a puppy.  Or Hunneypunkin when he puts on his puppydog face.
So then they got big real soon.  Hunneypunkin managed to make a deal with the humanes, for the society to sell the puppies, their profit, no charge to us.  Way better arrangement than the first round.  We outsmarted the hippo this time, whose master himself took one of the pups off our hands.
Hunneypunkin named his puppy Gunner, and Gunner grew up to be bigger than his mommies--we were never completely certain which one actually birthed him--though he never got quite as big as his father the hippo.  Gunner's a handsome fellow, a mellow, friendly, low-maint kind of pet.  If Jeremy Renner were a dog, he'd be Gunner.