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Showing posts with label Jeremy Renner goatee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeremy Renner goatee. Show all posts

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Unwanted Hair Removal

Does the word "unwanted" refer to the hair, or the removal?
I tried to tell myself my mustache wasn't that bad.  Then Hunneypunkin in a rare display of Imperial storm trooperhood threatened to hide me from the public until I did something about it.
So I tried to wax my facial hair, but even though I obeyed the instructions like a saint, all that got me was a mustache full of wax.  I tracked down all the vain people I knew to get some pointers, but the only thing I learned was, "Don't buy the stuff from Wal*Mart."  Which of course, is precisely where my little package of pain infliction had come from.
I gave up on the wax and resorted to tweezers.  Unfortunately my mother was Rapunzel and my old man was a Wookie, resulting in us children being fur-bearing mammals.  That's all well and good for my brothers, but it's rather unfavorable for me, what with my being a girl and all.  By the time I had tweezed a square millimeter of the surface area of my face it was tomorrow already.
Tweezing was quite literally a pain so I reverted to ignoring my whiskers until I could see them in the mirror even without corrective lenses.  Then I chopped them off with scissors.
Rapunzel has suggested I just shave, but after Hunneypunkin advised Lefty and The Precious, all in good fun, to "ask Mama" how to manage peach fuzz when they reached the wonderful world of teenage, I refuse to take a razor to my face.
I toyed with the idea of starting some sort of new trend with women's facial hair, but I'm just not famous enough for that to be feasible.  Yet.  Plus, I can't really pull off a heart-stopping goatee as well as someone like, say, Jeremy Renner.
Yesterday after maybe drinking too much (caramel mocha I mean), I opted to try waxing one more time.  When I'd had enough of ripping hairs from my face using strips of wax, I ripped out a few more using tweezers.  Then I scissored the growth that remained.  I still spurned shaving.  Today I have red, sore, and slightly swollen bald spots in the stubble surrounding my lips.  Is this worth it?