A Senior, I Do What I Want

I'll admit I went into mild shock when the nice girl behind the counter asked me, "Do you qualify for the senior discount?"
Like an idiot, on the outside I said, "No."
Internally, I was more like, wait, what?!  Do I LOOK as if I qualify for the senior discount?  At what age do I qualify for the senior discount?  How much money would I avoid spending with the senior discount?  I'm dressed in sexyboots and skinny jeans, and I have great hair.  How could even a teenybopper like her be so ridiculous as to think I might qualify for the senior discount?  If I look as though I need to be asked if I qualify for the senior discount, just gimme the stupid senior discount!
At first I laughed it off, then I went home and put the mirror through some deep agony, and after that I got distracted with real life and forgot to be concerned with my appearance.  For a few months...until another store clerk asked me the same question.
For the record, I'm younger than Jeremy Renner.  But Itellyouwhat, everybody else is trying to get ahead in life, so I'm going to do it too.  I'm embracing this.  I'm closer to forty than I am to fifty, but henceforth I'm skipping the rest of my youth.  Senior citizens get away with murder because they're old.  So here it is, people.  I'm a senior citizen and I do what I want!